Well, I have myself somewhat over committed this week once again because so many people are in need of my services. I am going away for a month to visit intentional Christian communities and I want to finish strong with all my obligations and a big organizing job that I want to complete. When I get on the bus going to Chicago on July 8th I will be in so many ways relieved.
I feel very grateful for all the work that I have been offered. Organizing, landscaping, cleaning, hauling, doing a yard sale in cooperation with an organizing client and doing a big clean up job in a yard that needed a lot of brush and trees cleared away were wonderful opportunities to often work with my family and serve.
But I must say I am feeling drained right now. In the midst of all this activity I have also been joyously and sometimes feverishly contacting communities that I want to visit. I still have some emails to send and so many details I want to attend to before I leave. I want to have all my technology together so I can do video, photography, and podcasting. I want to learn how to use my android phone and download things on my computer as I am traveling. These are skills I have wanted to learn for years but have put off doing because I have trouble learning new things.
I really thought I was going to have a pretty open week so that I would have plenty of time to do these things. Now the spaces are closing in. Our house is a mess and I don’t feel like cleaning it although I did do most of the dishes. My daughter who excels in helping me to make a clear space when I am feeling tired is gone for three days to be a camp counselor. What to do.
Okay. I just listened to a talk by Chris Coursey. He said that if we are feeling overwhelmed, instead of working harder, we should rest. That is counter intuitive, I know. But I need to be recharged. I need to connect with God on a deeper level than I have been connecting. I have felt his loving presence so much in all I am doing. But I need more. I know what I need–a good cry.
I cry because I yearn for that which I don’t have. A community of people who can really help each other to achieve the big goals and visions that I have. Yes, we have a small community–but we just don’t have enough people and resources to lighten the burden enough so that all that I want to do can be done.
I just found a website that describes a vision that is so similar to mine–and I am going to contact them to see if I can visit them after I visit The Simple Way in Philadelphia. It will mean cutting my visit to The Simple Way short, but it seems amazing to me that a place that seems to share my visit is located between two communities I am visiting. Here is their website www.sustainabletraditions.com
Okay, so I was trying to have a cry and then I got interrupted. So I won’t cry while I am writing. Just know, dear reader, that I have great hopes that I will be rejuvenated after a good night’s sleep and some connection with Jesus. Thanks for listening to my discouragement. I just wanted to be more vulnerable than I have been. (That was another one of Chris Coursey’s suggestions–leaders need to be more vulnerable with their weaknesses).
Well, this is an experiment. Let me know what you think. Or how you felt about what I just wrote. I would appreciate it.